The fate of Ezequiel Mosquera still hangs in the balance following his positive test for hydroxyethyl at September's Vuelta a Espana. The Galician, who achieved his greatest ever results at this year's final Grand Tour, is struggling with his newfound spot in the headlights of the public and media's attention - and not in the good way. Speaking with Marca, the rider who has signed a contract with Vacansoleil for 2011 admits that he's struggling.
"I don't like being the center of attention even when things are going well, so imagine how it is now. These are difficult times, but I cannot hide, especially when I have no guilt."
Normally, it's difficult to feel much sympathy for riders that test positive for most anything, but guilty or not, that first moment when the news breaks, must be one of the more somber available for a professional cyclist.
"To explain in words what happened the day the news broke is impossible. It's like you're showering with hot water and they you're thrown out into the cold. I was living in the clouds, and suddenly, one day a reporter called me to tell me what happened."
Mosquera is free to continue racing for the moment. He is readying to make the trip to Mexico to take part in a circuit race in Chihuahua soon, but the decision from the UCI isn't far off. The weight of the wait has been hard on the slight climber, but Mosquera has taken solace in his bike to deal with the problems that remain on the horizon.
"Whatever happens, I will always be a cyclist, because I like riding a bike, and that is what frees me a little bit in these days. The worst thing is to read the newspapers, because there's poison there. I need to save my energy, because I will need it later."
The winner of Stage 20 of the Vuelta atop the Bola del Mundo defends his sport and says that it's a strong contingent of riders that support each other. Mosquera seems surprised to have received nods of confidence from certain riders within the peloton in recent weeks, and again, takes an opportunity to lash out at the irascible media.
"Within cycling, things are more noble than people think. In recent days, I have experienced support from riders who have been through a similar situation, but the problem is when you read the newspapers or listen to the media."
The runner-up at the Tour of Spain, behind only Liquigas's Vincenzo Nibali, is not the only Galician experiencing difficulties right now. His former team, Xacobeo Galicia, looks certain to fold. Mosquera feels for his former team, but can't help but allocate all of his time and energy to his own plight for the moment.
"Lately, I have not talked much with them, because I have my own problems and they have theirs - to find a new sponsor in these difficult times. I wish I could help more, but now I have to solve my own problem first. Still, do not rule out my trying to help out if all goes well."
At a time when Mosquera's name is held brightly in the spotlight as an apparent example of ambition gone awry, Mosquera adamantly holds his innocence. It's not surprising that the Spaniard would feel the cold shoulder of many with a positive test that could indicate doping, so the 34 year old has surrounded himself with his closest family and friends and tightened the ropes of his support network, because at this point, it's all he has.
"These days, I have taken the opportunity to surround myself with good people, because in a case as complicated as this, it is essential."